My ex girlfriend from 2018 fucked with me seriously bad. A lot worse than I think I really let myself take on and let others understand. First off, I was an asshole a lot of the time but that was mostly because I hadn't developed a good understanding of what a relationship is and how you're supposed to treat your partner. I was far from great to her. When it ended of course I took it poorly and well, that wasn't entirely my fault. After it ended I was tourmented with shit that well, still fucks with me really. She never liked my physical appearance or my sexuality. I'm not straight and prefer to be more feminine with a lot of aspects of myself. She said she was okay with it and well, that was a blatant lie. I got constant insults over my longer hair from her which led to me developing a shitty habit of pulling hair out. My bedroom floor and bed were coated in a layer of my hair. I'm still recovering from that untill this day. Aside from insults on my appearance, I was called a faggot and a few other harder slurs a lot. It's not the fact that I was being called it that really fucked with me. It was the fact that she would contradict herself with acting like she loved the shit I did and turn around and criticize me for it.

That was shit that regularly happened during the relationship. After it ended, I would get texts about her new guy. How horny she was for him. How she snuck out to sleep with him. Just a plethora of shit that would fuck with me intensely. I would get calls from her and one day recently.
I don't remember exactly how it went down really. I was drunk that night. My girlfriend of the time was asleep or away. I was alone when I got a call from my ex and her bf. Pissed off I told her to stop after answering and they laughed at me. I asked her if me and her could just talk for a minute. Alone, I vented and broke down telling her how everything she said and what she had been doing fucked with me. She laughingly played it off and called me a faggot more. I hit a certain point and started slashing my arm until I hit a vein too much for comfort. I said outloud what I was doing which made her laugh and leave. I drank more and vented to a groupchat with friends and that made them call the police.