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WHO THE FUCK

HERE I AM, TAKING A FAT ASS MEATY-LIQUID SHIT. IT WON'T STOP COMING OUT. IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE PULLED THE PLUG TO THE BATHTUB AND MY ASSHOLE WAS THE DRAIN. THE BATH WATER IS THE INNER CONTENTS OF MY STOMACH.

I GO TO WIPE MY DRIPPING WET ASS. I WRAP THE TOILET PAPER AT LEAST 20 TIMES AROUND MY HAND BEFORE I ENTER THE PROXIMITY OF MY ANUS. I PRESS IT ONTO MY BARE ASSHOLE AND AM STUNNED. AS I WIPE IT FEELS AS IF THERE IS NO BARRIER BETWEEN THE FECAL MATTER AND MY FINGERS.

"Did I just get shit all on my finger?" I question myself.
I sniff my finger...

LET ME JUST ASK, WHAT MOTHERFUCKER THINKS IT'S EVEN REMOTELY OKAY TO MAKE TOILET PAPER WITH FUCKING HOLES IN IT. MY TOILET PAPER IS THE EQUIVALENT TO FUCKING SWISS CHEESE. HOW THE HELL IS THIS OKAY. IT MIGHT BE BUDGET TOILET PAPER BUT YOU HAVE TO USE 3 TIMES MORE JUST NOT TO GET YOUR FINGERS COVERED IN SHIT EVERYTIME YOU WIPE.




I think I'm addicted.

Everyone looks at self-harm in the form of cutting to be a method of attention grabbing. And that it's only used by attention whores looking for an easy way to get pity from others. For others, myself included, it's been used as an escape from horrible feelings. It is by no means a positive coping method. But it's better than blowing your fucking brains out.
I've done this for so long that I can't truly remember when I started. I did it long before I ever knew the purpose. I've always enjoyed the pain and they way my blood looks smeared along a blade. I yearn the feeling of the edge of the blade sinking into and tearing my flesh. After weeks of being clean, I find myself missing it. These past weeks I've been stupendously happy. For the first time in years I've been truly happy and excited to go further in life.
But I miss it. There's countless blood stains around my room. Surfaces, the carpet, the walls and my bed are speckled with blood stains and smears. I want this again. I want to feel the same way I did when I sliced too deep and clipped a vein. I want to feel alive. I want to suffer. I feel emppty without that aspect in my life.




Covid-19 is the ultra retard.

At the moment, Covid-19 or The Coronavirus is ass fucking the entire United States. Is it nearly as bad as people make it out to be? No. But are people acting like fucking retards for no reason? Totally. Sure it can kill some people, but the flu has totaled a way larger amount of deaths than Covid. We don't scare our children shitless whenever it makes its rounds around the community.
The whole situation really shows how ill prepared we are for disasters like this. Hopefully It'll do some serious damage. I enjoy staying cooped up in my room away from society. I love it even more when society is failing and people are suffering while I can sit back and take it all in.




I want to kill them all.

I constantly have thoughts of ripping apart the throat of the people around me. I love to think about the sounds they would make as they gasp for a breath of air as they drown in their own blood. I want to study the face of my victim. I want to see the fear in their eyes and watch them suffer.
God, why aren't we allowed to take the lives of others?




I fucking hate people.

First off, social interaciton and conversations with people are something I find worthless and intrusive. Don't ask me how my day is going if I don't fucking know you. Strangers just say that, I know they don't actually expect it to get an answer and it's just 'Common Courtesy'. But it's fucking offensive to me. You don't care so don't ask and if I really wanted to let you know and told you, you'd give some half ass statement acting like you fucking give a shit.

Second, for any of you retard fuck bags out there who hold the door for people and say "You're welcome" regardless of them saying "Thank you", you need to be fucking hung. Maybe to the normal person it may seem a little rude. But to ME.
I didn't fucking ask for you to hold the damn door open for me. I have arms, I am rather capable of opening it myself. I also didn't ask for your generosity, part of opening the door for me without a request from me is that you're being nice. It's YOUR choice don't fucking expect me to say anything shit bag.

Third, FUCKING SHOWER OR CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES. This doesn't apply to those who do laundry every week or shower every other day. This goes out to the walking asscracks who haven't touched the shower in weeks or even months. If your hair is crusty and sticks to your clothes, it's about damn time to wash it. Even before the crust accumulates you should have at least showered 2 WEEKS BEFORE. Your stench literally wofts around any room you are in and slowly suffocates others. That shit isn't healthy. Before people go on, "Oh maybe they can't afford running water... blah blah" If your retarded ass can't afford water you could at least afford a bar of fucking soap and the rain.




The worst part of living in a religion heavy town.

Surprise, surprise, I'm an edgy teen that deals with depression. That is an issue in itself. What makes it so much worse is that 70% of the people I've talked to about almost always invite me to their church or tell me to look towards God for assistance.
I despise Christianity. I believe people only follow it because the can't fathom the fact that their existence is perpertually pointless. After you die, you don't exist. You never did, you never will.
I don't mind anyone who is Christian as long as they keep their retard thoughts to theirselves. I'm not in a church, I don't want your teachings.

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